The arrival of Lukas James Sitarski

Overall Baby Boy Sitarski's pregnancy was easier than Sophia's - less dramatics in the beginning and I had a lot less swelling even though I delivered in the hot weather.  The one wrinkle to the plan is that baby boy was breech and was NOT moving.  After a terrible ECV experience, we changed our delivery plans to prepare for a c section.  The hospital had a bit of a situation that week where the residents were all graduating so they had limited slots for c sections and I was on a WAITING LIST! This was more stressful for Bart and I than I'd like to admit, if I went into labor it would be an emergency situation and with construction on 90, it was taking us about an hour and 45 minutes to get downtown to the hospital.  We waited for a call everyday and had multiple midwives trying to get us squeezed in whenever they could.  FINALLY we got a call that there was an opening for Thursday at 4pm!  We were so relieved and Bart's main mission was to make sure I did not go into labor before then, it's so cute when your husband tries to put you on bedrest (have you met me?!?).

The day of the c section we dropped off Sophia at daycare like any other day trying to keep her schedule as normal as possible.  We spent the weekends before having family date days and nights in effort to spoil her with attention and soak up any Sophi time that we could.  She was our one and only for 20 months and taught us so much about how to be parents (and gave us quite a run for our money), she was a perfect 1st born and taught us both how to love like nothing we've ever felt before.

The worst part of that day was I could not eat or drink anything after 8am.  So I decided I should keep myself busy that day.  I decided to make a hair appointment to cover my grays and let's be honest who knows when I'll get back there (thanks again jaime!).  Then I went to Target because there was an awesome sale on diapers (thinking back on it - probably not the smartest decision since I was trying to avoid going into labor) and then came home and got ready.  I wanted to take a long shower and do my hair to see how it turned out.  This experience is SO DIFFERENT then labor with Sophia, contractions started in the middle of the night and it was more of a rush to the hospital.  This was so relaxed and leisurely.  We left the house early incase we got stuck in traffic and got to the hospital early.  We went into triage and went up to the 8th floor where we waited for the nurse to come get us.

Alyssa was our nurse in L&D and she was AWESOME.  She got us early and had a very similar personality to ours, we started joking around immediately.  Then my anesnteiologist came in who was also super awesome!  The chick that jacked up my epidural for the ECV was also on that day and the nurse that blew out my vein - I made both of them PROMISE they would NOT leave me.  One thing I wasn't expecting is every person who walked in the room wanted to rehash the birth of Sophia.  I know its important everyone knows what they're getting into but going over it again and again was a bit unnerving.  Then we found out what doctor was doing the surgery - DR. MCNAIR!!!  If you remember from Sophia's birth - McNair was who came in and saved the day with my delivery and hemorrhage.  She said well you're either going to be really happy I'm here or really pissed.  We were both like NO WAY WE'RE HAPPY!  I asked if she remembered us or if she just reread the chart.  She said she did remember us for a really random reason - here is where we learned a new bit of information from Sophia's labor - when they went to deliver my placenta the umbilical cord popped off the second the pulled on it - it was BARLEY attached to the membrane and not where it was supposed to be.  It's crazy to think about the "what if's" and I'm so glad I didn't know that bit of information until that very minute.

Everyone was there and ready to go way early so they requested an OR early and we were able to get started.  Bart was given a paper onesie and told to wait in the room.  I was given another robe to cover my bootie and we walked to the OR (I didn't know this part - we WALKED to the OR).  I got in there and it really does look like a TV set and it was FREEZING!  I sat on the operating table and a bunch of stuff started happening.  First of all we had the BEST doctor/nurse team - they were amazing and super fun!  They start off with a role call where they introduce themselves and what their role is - I asked if we could play a game, we chose 2 truths and a lie - everyone thought that was pretty funny.  After everyone introduced themselves and called out my situation (they were very clear of my history of hemorrhage and sticky placenta and 1st birth - I mean lets rehash that one last time).  Next was my spinal block - he was done in about 35 seconds - AMAZING and then all this stuff started happening... compression socks, warming blankets, lay down on the table, arms out, can you feel this cold, can you feel this prick, the table will tilt now, we're putting in the catheter, here comes the sheet, dad's coming in, sit there the wheels lock, oh here is the midwife on duty,  anesnteiologist asking a million questions, it was a bit chaotic but also very scripted and calm and organized.  I was worried about my arms being tied down like Jesus but at Prentice they don't actually tie your arms down, for some reason that was a relief.  Bart was making jokes as usual which helps.  I think I told everyone 10x that I wanted to do skin to skin if at all possible.  And then it was time...

I had no idea the incision was open but Dr. McNair asked for quiet and said we're coming out butt first - I could tell it was a bit of a struggle they were pushing pretty hard at the top of my belly (aka his head) and there was a lot of pulling.  The very SECOND he came out he SCREAMED!  It was the best sound I've ever heard in my life and I could not stop sobbing.  If you remember with Sophia, we didn't hear a peep for a full 5 minutes.  Knowing that he was ok immediately was amazing!  They took him over to the warmer table and got him cleaned up.  He was 9lbs 2oz, 20.5 inches long and born at 3:40pm!  Sophia was 9lbs 1oz and cooked a week longer!  He was a BIG BABY!  They were all shocked he was that big.  I guess my placenta was also larger than normal (this is good for my weight loss he he he).  I personally think this is why he couldn't flip - there wasn't room for him to get his big ol body around that big ol placenta.  

They tried to hand him to Bart and Bart said NOPE Mom wants skin to skin.  I didn't get that experience with Sophia and didn't think I'd get it with a c section and was so happy to have him so close to me.  He was having some problems getting the stuff out of his lungs so I made my midwife take him to suction him out but those first few moments were nothing short of magical.

They suctioned me out and sewed me up.  Bart got yelled at because he kept standing up to see what was going on and told to sit down.  Once everything was done, they wheeled me back to the L&D room we were in before and Baby Lukas latched right away and started nursing.  So this is what labor is supposed to be like.  I had my baby... in my arms... right after he was born!  I was very queasy as I always am after epidural/spinals but they told me I couldn't go to my room if I was queasy so they gave me some meds and I told them I felt better.  Then we got to the room and it was game over - here is where the puking began - I made Bart take the baby and was so sick.  Let me tell you - vomiting after having your stomach cut open... not amazing!  Holy cow was that painful.  It was a good 24 hours before I could keep anything down but it was a small price to pay for how wonderful everything went.  We stayed in the hospital 4 days and 3 nights.  2 of the nights were AWFUL where baby Lukas cluster fed the whole night, he was a big dude and wanted my milk to come in.  He only lost a total of 8% body weight and his levels were all perfect so we did something right.  All those hours were worth it.  I was anxious to get home but probably should have stayed that one more night in the hospital - the first day home was ROUGH.

 CHEERS!!!

 Bart stopped by the Disney store to get Lukas a Woody doll in honor of his circumcision.  

Sophia was napping when we got home.  When she woke up Bart and I went in and made a huge deal about seeing her.  She was very excited to see mommy and daddy.  She had a wonderful time with Nana and Papa and we cannot thank them enough for watching Sophia (and the home repairs completed while here).  Sophia didn't skip a beat with us being gone and that was exactly what I wanted.  Then we asked if she wanted to meet Baby Brother - OMG she was soooooo freaking excited.  This is where her baby brother obsession began.  She's had some rough moments of testing limits but overall we're soooo happy she likes him!

I think God put me through all these situations so that I can help others that are going through this.  I'm grateful that I've had these different experiences and came out the end with a beautiful and healthy family of 4.  I am truly blessed.  When it comes to vaginal vs. c section - here are my thoughts...  the labor of a vaginal is worse - you don't know how long it will last, pushing sucks, you tear and bleed, etc etc etc.  But the recovery of a c section is worse - your insides were literally ripped out and moved around and sewed back together.  Not being able to drive or pick up Sophia has been the worst part.  I'm so ready to be back to normal and not be so dependent on my husband.   Speaking of which - I can't write this without giving kudos to that wonderful man.  He got 2 weeks of paternity leave which has been a godsend!  He has literally sat with me every step of the way (sometimes sleeping more than I'd like) but he is the best supporter I could ever ask for and so happy to be living this crazy life with him.  

My Unsuccessful External Cephalic Version (ECV)

I'm currently 37.5 weeks pregnant and my little guy has been breech my entire pregnancy.   I've never wanted a c section and would try anything to get this baby to flip.  I've been going to the chiropractor doing the Webster technique, I've done inversions, cat/cow poses, pees on my tummy, you name it to get this baby to turn.  My absolute last resort was a version.  After many conversations with my midwife and husband (and a few google searches) I decided I absolutely did not want a version but I didn't want a c section more so with that we scheduled our version.

Now, I've read a lot of stories and talked to a lot of people who have had them and what I will say is EVERYONE IS LYING!  Obviously everyone's experience is completely different and I'm sure many will disagree with my description but I want to share my experience, so here goes...

Our appointment was at 10:30, we had to be there at 9:30.  No food after midnight, no liquids after 7am.  We got there and went right up to the labor and delivery floor.  I was given a robe and told to strip and settled in the hospital bed.

Let's pause here for a second... The last time Bart and I were in the labor and delivery room was the day Sophia was born - the last time I laid in that bed my baby had just been whisked away to the NICU and they were working to get me to stop bleeding.  I think Bart and I both had some no joke flashbacks to that day the second we entered that room.  Bart's first comment was wow - the floor is so much cleaner without your blood all over it.

So back to yesterday, the nurse went through all the necessary paperwork and questions and started my IV.  They had an OB resident come in and do an ultrasound to make sure that the baby was still breech - which of course he was.  He's been in the same position for a long time - sitting cross legged butt down, his head up against my heart.  Everyone keeps telling me he's stubborn (which oddly bothers me), I like to think he's just zen - he's in a meditation pose.  

Next the anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural.  She did awful!  She missed twice and I had shooting pain down my right side, and then left side.  Girl could not get it in straight.  Once we were finally set we were ready to call in the OB.  The OB explained the procedure to me while they were waiting for me to numb and the room started spinning, I interrupted him to tell him I was going to vomit.  They moved me to my side, Bart thinks I may have passed out briefly - I honestly don't remember.  The OB did a great job at going over to Bart and explaining everything that was going on - don't know what it is about that damn room that causes so much drama!  

Let me be very clear - I fought tooth and nail to not have an epidural.  I mean how bad could it really be?  Let me tell you I was SO WRONG - I'm soooooo glad my midwife made me get an epidural, there is no way I could have done it without.  First, they wanted to try to move him counter-clockwise.  They literally went over my skin and dug in their fingers until their hands were under the baby lifting him up and then pushed with all of their might to get him to move.  His head would move or his butt would move but he was not flipping.  They tried 4 times.  The doctor's forearms were literally shaking he was pushing so hard.  He kept having to take breaks and stretch his arms - and he is a strong man.  They tried so hard so many times and he felt so bad that baby boy wouldn't move.  After the 4th attempt he didn't feel it was safe to try again and said we needed to accept he wasn't going to flip.

It was the weirdest feeling.  I had an epidural so I didn't feel pain but the pressure was CRAZY1  They were pushing down so hard that I literally couldn't breathe and my reaction was to push back.  I kept saying my mommy instincts are to get you the hell out of my uterus and away from my baby.  Truly relaxing was impossible.  It was one of my least favorite experiences of my life.  I would never recommend it to anyone - even if it would have worked I'm not sure I would, it really was that awful.  We stayed 2 hours to get monitored and then got to leave.  By this point it was 2:00 and I hadn't eaten or drank all day - I was HANGRY!

Then the real fun began... being sore doesn't begin to describe last night.  Every time he would move, I would wake up and feel like I was just punched in the stomach.  Imagine your most intense workout and the next day when you're super sore and then someone coming up and kick or pinching your sore muscles.  Today was better because I went to work and moved around all day but I sure feel it.  I am already forming bruises all over my stomach and back.  It's just amazing!

So now we're scheduling a c section - I will get my head wrapped around that procedure and do a bunch of research and report back.  Again, I'm sure people do versions all the time where we barley tap on the baby and it flips right away - that just wasn't my experience and I wanted to share it.  If you're considering having a version please call me first and please please please accept an epidural if they offer it to you!

Daddy, Mommy, Sophia, and Baby-to-be: an update on our crazy life!

It's been awhile since I've caught up on my blogs.  Typical Sitarski's - we prefer to do everything all at once just to make our lives a little bit more interesting.

First let's start with my wonderful husband.  He's been at Brightstar for a year now and is doing great. He got some time on the motorcycle this summer and fall which makes him so happy.  I'm secretly a little happy it's stored away for the winter (one less thing to worry about).  Our 2nd anniversary was the beginning of December and we had the chance to get away for a weekend in Galena to celebrate.  We were able to catch up on sleep and walk around without a stroller or diaper bag.

Our little Sophia - she is just the craziest sweetest little monkey!  She's almost 15 months - running around like crazy.  She loves to smile and play and never stops moving. NEVER STOPS MOVING.  I picked her up from daycare yesterday and she hugged one of her little friends and then stole a cape from her.  Enough said.

I'm currently in grad school for my MBA in Organizational Behavior.  I've always wanted to get my MBA, when I was single and had all the time in the world I had zero desire to do so.  But after getting a severance letter last year it made me realize that no job is forever and just because I've been loyal to a company for nearly 13 years doesn't mean much in this market.  So I guess now is the time I will choose to do this.  I've completed 2 classes so far and have 14 to go (Lord help me).  So far the classes have been good but way more work outside of class than I thought.  I have no idea why I would think an MBA wouldn't be a lot of studying but I don't really think I was prepared to take this on.  Bart is so supportive!  He loves his daddy/daughter days when I'm at class.  I absolutely could not do this without his support.  Only about 2 years left hunny!

Our newest news is that we are currently expecting baby number 2!  So far this pregnancy has some similarities and differences to Sophia.  We are extremely lucky and got pregnant right away just like last time.  The first 10ish weeks were actually pretty easy other than being tired and SUPER moody (sorry babe).  Being pregnant with your first you can nap all the time, being pregnant with a toddler running around means no napping for mama - just a lot of running on empty.  I'm also showing way earlier in this pregnancy.  I just had Sophia a year before I got pregnant (almost to the day) and I nursed for a year so my body wasn't in top shape this time.  With Sophia I started really showing at like 19 weeks, this time it was more like 9 weeks.  By 10 weeks I was in full on maternity clothes and hoping to hide it for a few more weeks.  We will find out the sex of the baby at 20 weeks, I can't wait!  Part of me thinks a girl will be easier because everything in our house is already pink.  The other part of me would like to experience having a boy too.  Only 6 more weeks until we find out :-).

Around 10.5 weeks we started having a similar experience to Sophia's.  The spotting and cramping and bleeding were all too famaliar!  Both times we went in we were able to find a heartbeat right away and our midwife was super sweet and get the ultrasound so we could get a view of the bambino.  It was a stressful two weeks but at our appointment at 13.5 weeks our midwife ran any test she could and found there was no medical reason to worry.  Stuff happens that you can't avoid and we chose not to do genetic testing, there is always the possibility something could go wrong but today there is no reason to worry.  So what caused the bleeding both times?  It is called a subchoronic bleed.  It happens in 3% of pregnancies.  It's basically like a blood blister that forms in your uterus.  They typically do not cause a miscarriage.  When asking my midwife about her experience, she said she typically sees them in 2nd pregnancies and she has never seen the same mom have it in multiple pregnancies.  Leave it to me to be just a little different!

Well there is an update on our wild and crazy life!  1.3 kids, 2 years of marriage. 2 full time jobs, one MBA and 2 people who are trying to balance it all and have a little fun too!

Sophia's Twinkle Twinkle Little Star 1st Bday Party

Sophia's 1st Birthday party was a huge success! 

• Theme: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
• Colors: Pink and Gold
• Time: 11-2 (in between nap times)
• Location: Our house on Euclid
• Food: Brunch (biscuits and gravy, donuts, fruit and yogurt)
• Attendees: Nana and Papa, G&G Sitarski and tons of wonderful friends!

 Our little family

 I can't just throw a party, I have to theme it to death.  I made this fringe out of $1 table cloths.  It saved so much money but it was such a pain in the booty!  But I LOVED the end result!

Yes Sophia is a 1st child - we did a great job at the monthly picture and I LOVED this banner showcasing how much she's grown.

 The kids loved the playroom (good place to keep them contained)

 Sophia got way too spoiled with toys, books and clothes!  It was so funny when she opened this box it was so big she threw her hands on her head.  SOOOO ADORABLE!

 Not a fan of cake - like mother like daughter!

Sophia with her Godmother Anna.  These two have such a sweet special bond!

Thank you to everyone for celebrating this little munchin's first birthday!

A letter to my daughter on her 1st birthday

Two weeks from Monday my sweet little Sophia will be one year old.  Tonight, I went through the plans for her party, made a list of the "To Do's" and started to get things organized.  And then I sat down and thought about it and decided to write my darling daughter a letter for her birthday.

My sweet Sophia,
     Let me start out by saying that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and daddy.  This is something I tell you every single night as I feed you and sing you "You Are My Sunshine" and before I lay you down to sleep.
     I remember the day you were born.  I think about that day often.  I think about how lucky we are that you were so strong and fought for your life.  I think about how lucky we are that great doctors took really good care of both of us so that we could be here to torture daddy as much as we love to do.  I remember the day I had to leave the hospital and go home without you.  You were safe and in great hands with the NICU nurses, but mommy's heart broke a million times that night.  Every night you were in the hospital, mommy called the nurses to check and see how you were doing.
     When we finally got to bring you home, mommy and daddy would fight over who got to hold you.  You were quite a pistol in the beginning.  You had a lot to say, so much to say that you never wanted to sleep.  In the late nights and early mornings, we got to know each other pretty well.  We used to thank God that you were so cute, it made all the tears easier to take.
     After all the crying you became a pretty happy and smiley baby.  I used to wonder if you smiled so much because every time you looked at mommy or daddy we were smiling at you.  You've always been a strong, strong willed, funny, adorable, bald little baby girl.  I love getting you see you learn new things and getting to be the one to teach you those things.  I love when you look at a toy and suddenly figure out how it works.  I love when you are so proud and look at me with an ear to ear smile showing me what you just accomplished.
     I never knew what was missing in my life until I had you.  The joy you bring to my life is something I could have never imagined.  I never knew I could love something so much that my heart physically hurts when I look at you.  I never knew I could be so anxious and paranoid and worried about a 19lb 11oz little human being.
    I can't wait for every single day.  I love seeing you when you wake up in the morning.  I love your hugs and your kisses.  Thank you for changing my life forever.  Thank you for letting me be your mommy.

Sophia's Baptism

The weekend of Sophia's baptism was extra special with all the family around.  My Mom & Joe and aunts, uncles and grandparents all came up early to spend some extra time together.  Josh, Alice, my niece Edith and nephew Charlie (Boogie) flew in Saturday morning.  It was so fun having the cousins together!  Sophia is obsessed with Charlie and fascinated with sweet Edith. 

The day of the baptism was a such a beautiful day.  My little peanut looked so cute in her headband made by my sister in law's sister, Aggie.  She is one lucky lady to be surrounded by so many people who love her. 

 But Mom I was napping and now you want me to look cute, life is hard sometimes.

 "you're going to do what?"  

 This Deacon was seriously wonderful!  He was funny and sweet and explained every part of the ceremony.  We couldn't have picked a better church!

 Sophia has the best god parents - mommy's big brother, Josh and daddy's cousin, Anna.

 At the church

 With Sophia's Habel Grandparents at the church

All of the grandparents at the church

Some of the decorations

We had a good friend come and take photos of us after the baptism.  I love the pics we got - thank you Katy!!

 Our little family.

That quilt is special to me, my Mom received that from my great-grandmother as a bridal shower present.  I remember when Josh and I were small we used to fight over who got to sit on it.  Thanks Mom for passing it along so Sophia can play on it now.

 Anna has always been a special part of Bart and I's relationship.  Anna is the closest thing Bart's had to a sister.  Anna accepted me into the family right away and we've always had a special bond.  Anna read a poem during our wedding ceremony and now is a major part of our Sophie's life.  When we were thinking of who we wanted as Sophia's godmother - we wanted someone who would always be there for her, who she could trust and go to with anything.  I hope if there is ever anything Sophia doesn't feel comfortable coming to me with, she will go to Anna.

 THIS IS MY FAVORITE PICTURE IN THE WHOLE BUNCH!

She's like hmmm.... you look like my mom but different and I like you a lot but I don't know you - how confusing.

 My big brother has always been there for me.  Because of this, I know he will be the best godfather for Sophia.  My brother is also one of the best dad's I know so the godfather role will come extra natural.  Josh walked me down the aisle at our wedding - he was my rock that day and I sure hope if Sophia ever needs it, Josh can be her rock one day too. 

 Sophia with her Nana and Papa - the bond between these three is something only they can explain.

 How cool - Josh and my families together.

 Great Grandma Rosie and Great Grandpa Gordy

 Thank you all so much for coming for the weekend - this is one amazing family we are so blessed to be a part of!

 I may be biased, but Mom - you did pretty damn good!

 Nana and Papa with their grandkids.

 Great Grandparents with the grandkids!

 Woah - one where everyone is looking at the camera :-)

Bart's parents looked FANTASTIC!!  

 With the Sitarski / Scott clan.  Sophia sure is one loved little lady!

 With her cousins - man those kids clean up well!

 My angel.  Sophia you are the best thing that has ever happened to Mommy and Daddy!  We are so proud of you every single day and love you more than I can ever explain through the words on this page.  I can't wait to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you every single day.

 Mom/Joe and Bart's Parents

Four generations!

Someday Sophia will learn how much strength and independence is in this picture!

A sincere thank you to all who traveled and joined in Sophia's special day!